When deciding to take on this challenge called writing a Blog, my creative competitive aura started to turn Blu. I jumped into the idea of expressing my self, personal views and raw emotion via writing. A subject that challenged me from 3 grade to completion of dual degrees from Penn State.
This entry is about my travels from Hamburg Germany to Amsterdam but while on this 5.5 hr. road trip, I was reminded of how shitty it feels to struggle with writing. Also the smell of the hundreds of miles of farmland, Cows & Manure (shit). I literally felt my minds manifestation become one with the smell that haunted the autobahn and random traffic. It was as simple as that. I could allow my mind to stay in the same shitty traffic thinking or keep moving. We had reached a point in the road where there wasn't a speed limit. I hit my medical oil vape pen & felt my mind and body begin to relax. My friend (who had to carry the load of the entire trip, thankfully) helped me a lot, cause mentally I was not ready to handle the simple pressure of driving in a foreign land with rules & laws to match.
I calmed down a bit more...
She asked if I was going to work on another entry during the journey?
I replied back quickly... "I planed to start the next one and finally put a dent in a book I promised the author I would make the time to finish before I see him next (The Cook Up, author D. Watkins) but I am still feeling a lil off which translates to ( I am @ Mental Warfare) with self currently and if I don't win I may have a seizure." That's as blunt & compact as I can describe it. This can be a day to day, hour to hour, min. to min., down to 30 second to 30 second fight. Depending on more variables then I can mention but the first in the line stress. It's un-Gott...
I then used a tactic that helps me better learn my self, build up & reaction to other's during my pre-epileptic Battles. This also wasn't the first time I got on edge in her presence. (She handled it well)
Thinking to my self most non-empathic... people/ friends react in negative way towards the vibe or reactions, during my personal Mental Warfare while I positively do all I can to avoid, hide... not allow defeat.
I stared to ask questions:
- did you start to notice any difference?
- where there any signs of a building up?
- do you notice any similarities?
- could you tell a difference after I hit the CBD vape?
-did you think I had a problem with you, personally?
For those of you reading my Blogs please don't feel outta place. I was inspired to birth the Blog for you. Little is shared or talked about when it comes to mental health. I may have said it before, proud to say it again. I am Living with Epilepsy to one day End Epilepsy.
This Blog is bigger than me.
1. Thoughts of past seizure's or symptoms can cause on coming seizures
2. Reaction to Pharmaceutical medication (Resolve vs Side Effects)
3. NMMP (natural modern medical phenomenon) aka THC and CBD has helped me to relax my mind and prevent and or control mild to grand mild seizures.
There are random murals of graffiti and tagging along the Autobahn leading in & out of majority of the towns and cities of Europe. I fell into a trance of documenting and capturing the art with my own eyes. Living in the moment is more of a #ArtLife way of thinking.
Using this as a bridge to come back to my travels, Amsterdam embraced us with warm weather and sunshine!
We stayed with a friend on the south side of town, not to far from public transportation. Before bags could be dropped off, we met with an art dealer to get a feeling for the Dutch art market, art dealers, collectors, etc...
Dropped things of where we would lay our heads then headed downtown to experience the food, culture, museums and historical locations. The architecture is very similar to that of my Hometown of Baltimore City.
After a day of traveling and exploring it was agreed that it was time to experience Amsterdam's coffee shops.
We went to Barney's
I introduced my friend to the volcano vaporizer. We started with Liberty Haze, while the vape-bag was filling up, I rolled up some SK Kush. After a couple more rotations of the volcano, it was time to decide to re up or dip out. Enjoyed more of the beautiful cityscape.
It feels good to purchase and smoke a natural herb from a trusted location without the feeling of laws being broken. It feels almost Free...
It was suggested by a friend to try a strain, that is rarely found but highly know in Holland and its region. A marijuana with a high percentage of THC and CBD. It is called Amnesia, don't let the name fear you, the Amnesia you feel is more towards the problems and pains than the definition of the name.
I appreciate having friends globally, those that I could mention and not mention