Three new meds for treatment… I had just worked hard to get a major medication down to two a day vs. four. The main side effect has been extreme fatigue. It doesn’t seem like much but mix that with one or more other drug/pill that celebrate depression and that’s a mean portrait of wasted life. At this stage in my journey I can’t afford to relax as much as medical pills would like me to.
Each one feels like a bad relationship, I am lied to & pimped out. The same system just made it legal for me to marry & legally to grow towards healing with my long time friend the lovely Ms. Mary Jane. I’ve learned to extract CBD from her. It took a lot to cop or create real medication. I am blessed to have made it eleven years without going the route of radiation.
It simply never made sense to fight poison with poison and the technology used for radiation in 2007 was a lot more barbaric then what is used today. I am no where near being an advocate but as a friend told me with the
coolest grandmother mug: “have you stop believing in the God that has got you this far?” I quickly replied No! Without saying anything else. They replied “Well”, leaving me to quickly think about the many of times there has been a universal protection over my family.
(My plan was simple, keep pushing to get a consistent source for the CBD oil, medical marijuana, and what’s needed to produce or create it all myself.) I heard the voice of my mother: “God has not brought you this far to leave you now.”
I thought she would sense a level of burden but I saw her enter in the room with what I could only define as a golden glow. My mother was already balancing so much. She was on to the next mission to make sure her youngest son was under good hands. My Mamita was re-meeting with all of the doctor’s assigned to my treatment. As grown as I am, it honestly felt good to see my mother move around with such energy and knowing she is always in my corner. Life continues to teach lessons of understanding of Gods protection and a ever-growing understanding of self, I wasn’t going to pass this test without an extreme amount of positivity and prayer. What’s a mountain to a Mother that is a giant? I wanted to take any meter of pain off of “her”. She told me the best thing I could do to help her was to stay calm while relying on life lessons and staying positive. Remind you, my Mamita had just gotten off the surgeons table from facing off another heart surgery.
I had planned on helping my mother to recover and bounce back. My father remained being the glue, making sure Ma ate, slept proper, taking me, Ma or both of us to appointments for upcoming treatments.
It took a long time to find understanding from my first major encounter, brain surgery in 2007. This years April started off with me having severe migraines, it got to the point where I couldn’t really eat, get up or function at all. My over all patience level was beyond low. After seeing a Neurologist my MRI appointment got moved up to the following week. The way I felt laying in that machine and hearing the hammering sounds almost made it feel as if I was living through some kind of re-run.
The doctors told me I had a increasing amount of fluid building around my brain, which were not only causing the migraines but also putting massive pressure on my eye nerve. (I could have lost my sight) from that point on everything happened so fast…
Different teams of doctors (surgeons/ neurosurgeons/ oncologists and neurologists) started talking to me about the necessary surgery. Before
Memorial Day Observances’
Falling fast, I felt a positive parachute
open up. Life no matter how it may seem, is designed to test & teach. With my mother’s energetic glow and father’s prayer’s
“there is no distance in the spirit..” I went back into this one with more positivity then I knew I could harness.